Cleanse

I keep forgetting to blog. Writing is something I'm discovering is necessary for my sanity, I need to release all the thoughts that swirl around my head.

I've been in the midst of huge amounts of change lately, along with some personal growth. I've moved into my own apartment in a different state, going to new, giant school and learning to be completely independent. The move wasn't so bad and I love my apartment. The school is huge, but I'm making friends and not getting lost so often. The independence part has always been in me, but I've been dragging it out more often. I still get the urge to pat myself on the back after I've paid a bill.

I have been feeling slightly stretched thin, but that was my own thoughts stressing me out. I'm not the first to balance school and work, and I won't be the last. I need to remember to take a minute and de-stress from time to time and not forget to write.

Personal growth has been a bit trickier. I tend to be very shy around new people, to the point of being seeming very standoffish. New social situations make me incredibly anxious, my poor cuticles have taken a beating lately. I've been making myself talk to people and come out of my shell a little bit. I've noticed that every time I talk to a person, it gets a little easier. I don't get quite so anxious.

I've also done some purging. I'm not clinging onto things as much as I used to. I've let go of some of the anger I've been carrying around for so long. Anger at various people, along with anger at situations I've been in. I've also been getting away from the toxic people in my life. I got sick of being exhausted after dealing with someone. I'm sick of being sad, upset or angry all the time. Its time for me to happy in my own skin.

Being an adult is exhausting.